The Heart of Life
by romulusrapier
Summary: Remus Lupin is one stubborn man. Will it cost him the love of his life? Takes place in the middle of DH.


_Author's Notes:  
I was singing one of my favorite songs, _The Heart of Life_ (by John Mayer), and the idea for this story litereally just popped into my head.  
I honestly wrote this like an hour ago. It probably could use a rewrite or two, but then it probably wouldn't get on here until sometime next year. I bet I'll reread this in a month and be like "God this is awful."  
But whatever. I actually really like this one. (For now.)  
So I used the song as a prompt, and there are some lyrics scattered throughout.  
Song lyrics and characters not mine. They belong to John Mayer and JKR respectively :)_

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* * *

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_You know it's nothing new  
Bad news never had good timing_

"You're _what_?!" he stammered, asking her the question a second time. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it.

"Look, Remus, I know it's not ideal and I know it's unexpected, but there's nothing we can do about it now!" She was getting worried. Granted, she hadn't expected him to take it well. She knew Remus Lupin far too well to be naïve enough to the think he'd be overjoyed. But he was just so _upset_. This was, generally speaking, supposed to be a happy moment in their lives.

"'_Not ideal_'? Dora, this is a disaster! And not just because of the war!" he said loudly. This his voice lowered, "what if...it's...like me?"

"Do you think we'll love it any less?"

He shook his head in contradiction. That wasn't what he'd meant. "I can't inflict that kind of pain on my own child," he said quietly.

"Remus..."she started, taking a step closer to him, but he stepped away, shaking his head again.

"I need a moment," he muttered, retreating to the bedroom.

She slumped onto the sofa with a sigh, burying her head into her hands and letting the tears she'd been holding back flow freely.

— — —

_There's things you need to hear  
__So turn off your tears and listen_

"Dora...?"

She looked up, wiping her tears as her eyes met his. He bit his lip a moment, looking guilty.

"Yes?"

"We have to get rid of it," he said, almost inaudibly. He hated telling her this. He hated that this was how it had to be. He hated himself for letting this happen.

"What?" she asked, almost shrilly. She took the same tone of disbelief he had used when she told him that they were expecting a child in the first place.

"This is the way it has to be..."

"Maybe in your stubborn mind it's the only way!" she shot, rising to her feet and looking almost angry. "I'm not getting rid of our child, Remus!"

"Dora, I can't—"

"Then don't! Get out! I don't know who you are anymore, anyway!"

He frowned, getting frustrated. She wasn't listening. "You don't understand!"

"I understand perfectly! You—"

"No, Dora, listen to me!" he said, his voice rising as he cut her off. "Me...my kind...we're not supposed to reproduce! We knows what the child might turn out like!" he shouted.

"I don't care what our child is like! I'll love it all that same and I used to think you would too!" she yelled, feeling her eyes start to sting.

"I'm sorry, Dora. I can't do this," he muttered angrily, moving to the front door and placing his hand on the knob with one last look at his wife.

"Fine! But don't think that you can escape by just running away!" she shouted as the door slammed and he was gone. "COWARD!" She tried to scream this last word with malice, but her voice cracked as she broke into sobs. She didn't even know if he'd heard it.

— — —

_I hate to see you cry  
__Lying there in that position_

He'd heard.

He stood on the front step, his heart aching. He glanced into the window and saw her face buried in a pillow. He knew she was crying by the way her shoulders shook.

He felt so guilty. He wanted nothing more than to rush back in a wrap his arms around her. But it had to be this way. It was for the best.

If it was for the best, why did he have to keep convincing himself that it was?

He just needed something to take his mind off of it for a little while.

Maybe Harry could use his help.

— — —

_Then the circle of your friends  
__Will defend the silver lining_

"A-And then he left and it's b-been almost a week since I've seen h-him!" she sobbed over her second cup of tea—she had broken the first—sitting at the kitchen table of the Burrow.

"Tonks, dear, it's okay," Molly said, placing her arm around the shaking young woman. "I'm sure he'll come to his senses. Remus is a very intelligent, logical man."

"And stubborn," she prompted, wiping her tears slightly.

Molly smiled gently. "Yes, that's true as well. But don't worry, he'll come around."

She sniffed. "You really think so?"

"Of course! Why Arthur stared at the wall for three whole hours when I told him we were expecting Bill. And now look, we have seven children!"

She smiled faintly, feeling slightly better as she sipped her tea. "...Thanks Molly."

"Don't mention it dear! Now, I don't think you're gotten to enjoy this news properly. Come; let me show you some of the adorable clothes I've got stored upstairs with the ghoul."

— — —

_Pain throws your heart to the ground_

It had been months. She was almost afraid she'd forgotten what he looked like. _Almost_. She could never forget those pale, tired eyes and that handsome face covered in lines that were far too deep for a man so young.

But she was now starting to fear she'd never see him again. If it weren't for the fact that other members of the Order saw him, she'd worry that he was dead.

Molly said that Arthur had tried talking to him; Ron had mentioned a row he had with Harry at Grimmauld Place. But that man was stubborn as ever, though Molly was confident he'd see the error in his ways. All she could do was hope that Molly was right.

The baby kicked lightly and she placed her hand on her ever growing belly. She couldn't help but smile as it reminded her that she wasn't alone. No matter what, she'd always have this little child. This little piece of the man she still loved with all her heart.

There was an unexpected knock at the door. She looked out the window, her eyes meeting the familiar pale ones that she hadn't seen in what seemed like forever. She felt her heart jump as she rose and quickly crossed to the door. She opened it, looking up at the man that was returning to her life just as abruptly as he had left it.

_Love turns the whole thing around_

"Remus..." she breathed in disbelief.

"How do you know I wasn't a Death Eater?" he asked, though not looking serious.

"Don't start," she muttered, rushing forward and burying her face in his chest and starting to weep. She uttered all sorts of things that were unintelligible as she sobbed into his shirt that smelled just like she remembered and had missed so dearly.

"I'm sorry..." he muttered softly. "For everything."

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around him tighter. She didn't care. All that mattered to her now was what he was here.

Suddenly the child kicked again she pulled away hastily, looking from his slightly bewildered face to her stomach and then back to him. She smiled and took his hand, placing it gently on her belly and watching him. There was a long moment where the merely stood there, looking at each other—her face tearstained and his more worn than she remembered.

And then, the baby kicked once more and those pale eyes of his shot to his hand on her stomach. She smiled wider as he looked back up at her with a faint grin.

He then leaned in, tentatively placing his lips on hers and a moment later they were kissing as they had never kissed before—words had no meaning here.

_No it won't all go the way it should  
__But I know the heart of life is good_

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l _r _l _e _l _v _l _i _l _e _l _w _l _s _l_ - my anitdrug_


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